Diary of a Goomba
by frogger929
Summary: The title says it all. The funnies and the stupidity of a goomba writing in his Diary.
1. Chapter 1

**For whom is reading this story you should read Just Mario (My main fanfic), and Paper Blooper Mario.**

Diary of a Goomba

May 4, 2012: Super Mario Bros

_Dear Diary, I have quit being in Mario games and went off to my little home in Mushroom Falls. But if there's one thing that Mario should get is that of how many goombas he stomps out there, there will always be more._

_Example: Every time you start out in Super Mario Bros, the first things you see are ? blocks, bricks, and a goomba. The goomba is minding its own business shuffling sideways toward Mario, Mario obviously would _

_have to stomp on it, but the concept of the word "stomp" is pretty confusing to some players, even me because it just seems like Mario is jumping on the goomba squishing it. There is no sign of stomping anywhere._

_Unless there's a peanut butter sandwhich on the goomba that he really wants to squish but he says "It'll be hard to get it off the goomba to squish it, so i'll just do it on the goomba". So Mario squishes the sandwhich_

_and the goomba, a poor innocent goomba that will do no harm to him. A little nice, soft fellow that gives out flowers and cupcakes to all the boys and girls saying "Pip Pip cheerio!". BUT NOOO,THE SANDWHICH AND_

_THE GOOMBA JUST HAD TO BE SQUISHED ON THE SOLES OF HIS MUD STAINED SHOES!" Goombas have rights, we even protested about getting cupcakes for surviving Mario. But an advantage would be that if you_

_touch Mario when he hasn't had a power-up thing yet... HE DIES, MUHAHAHAHHA AND CHEESEBURGERS!_ _Uh oh. _ Mario smashes through his house and stomps on the goomba. Then he wrote in his diary saying.

_This one's for you cheeseburgers. _Then he jumps out the window.

**So um this is random. I feel like I need your opinion on this one. Should I continue or Should I stop? PLZ REVIEW I'M BEGGING YOU!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter made me LOL.**

June 7, 2012

Diary of a Goomba: Game Show

_Dear Diary,_

_It's me again, but i'm not in a happy mood besides the bandages. Today was horrible. I entererd myself and a _

_game __show and this is what happened._

* * *

{"Welcome to the 1st annual Mario gameshow. Featuring..."MARIO!" The crowd

roared. "LUIGI!" The crowd cheered. "and a stupid goomba." The crowd booed. "HEY!" yelled the goomba. "These

contestants will answer sepereate questions and we'll see who wins in the end." "The grand prize is... ONE MILLION

COINS!" The crowd cheered and chanted.. "MARIO AND LUIGI!" "MARIO AND LUIGI!" Then the crowd died down

roared with pleasure as Mario and Luigi flew onto the stage with their P-Wings. "Hello everyone!" Mario said. "It's a

pleasure to be here." The crowd cheered. "HERE'S YOUR HOST... PEACH!" The crowd roared and cheered louder than

ever before as she walked up to the the stage looking more beautiful than ever, blowing kisses to the crowd. Mario

had hearts in his eyes and was drooling while Luigi rolled his eyes. "Ok" the announcer said. "THE RULES ARE...

1: NO CHEATING

2: NO DRINKING

3: NO HAMBURGERS

4: AFTER EVERY THIRD MISS, MINUS POINTS.

"What a lame rule" thought the goomba. "1st question" Peach said. "The first Mario game was called? and when

was it released?" Goomba buzzed in. "Chuck Norris, August 17, 3017". "Incorrect" said Peach while giggling. Mario

buzzed in. "Super Mario Bros, September 13, 1985" "Correct" said Peach. "100 points added to your total". "Next

question." "Who says this line? "HI, I'm DAISY!" ?" Goomba buzzed in. "Luigi's girlfriend". "Incorrect". Luigi

buzzed in. "Daisy" "Correct". "100 points added to your total" "3rd question" Peach said. "How long did Mario date

Pauilne?" No one buzzed in. The sound of a gong was present. "Times up, -50 points for all and -100 points for

goomba." Peach said.

**Score...**

**Mario**

**150 points**

**Luigi**

**150 points**

**Goomba**

**-150 points**

"4th question" said Peach. "How many different breeds of Toads are here?" Goomba buzzed in. "100,000,000,000"

"Incorrect". Mario buzzed in "1" "Correct, 100 points added" Peach said. "Question 5" **This question is worth**

**500 points. If answered incorrectly -500 points. **"What is the name of the 100th game added to the virtual

console? Goomba buzzed in. "Legend of Zelda: Twilight Sword" "Incorrect -500 points and -100 points for saying

an answer that is not reasonable" Peach said. Luigi buzzed in. "Wii milestone" "Correct 500 points added to your

total" Peach said.

"THIS GAME SHOW IS RIGGED!" yelled the goomba. Then a police toad tazed him and Goomba's eye was

twitching.

**Mario**

**150 points**

**Luigi**

**650 points**

**Goomba**

**-750 points**

"Question 6" Peach said. **BONUS POINTS TIME! Roll the die and find your bonus. Cube numbered... 50, **

**100, 300, 500, Jackpot, or AUTOMATIC WIN! Since Mario and Luigi are brothers, if one of them rolls an**

**automatic win, they both get 1,000,000 coins!. **

Goomba rolled an X, Mario rolled Jackpot, but Luigi rolled... AUTOMATIC WIN! The crowd went wild, Peach gave

Mario a kiss on the lips, **and tons of coins rained down **of the Bros. (Does the bold remind you of anything

Hint: Game for the 3ds, E3 presentation 2012) }

* * *

_So diary that's why i'm angry, as for the bandages, I got run over by Mario and Luigi's new Wild Wing._

_But I then defeated Mario with my super awsomeness and then... Uh oh._

Mario and Luigi were looking down at the goomba as he was writing. Sweat pouring down the goomba's head as

he knew this was not going to end well...

**So that's my chap. Anyway i'm going to take a break from this and i'm going to continue on my "Just **

**Mario" story. But if you want me to continue. Just give me a review. As I always say...**

_**"Majority Rules!"**_** ~Froggerz~ **


	3. Chapter 3

**I was bored.**

June 7, 2012

Diary of a Goomba: Mario Kart

_Dear Diary, It was supposed to be a good day but it wasn't. Following the game show was Mario Kart. Oh that horrid _

_game. All I wanted to do is see my goomba friends there, and they were all squashed. It appears that they use the_

_Goombas to make mushrooms. WHAT KIND OF TOM-FOOLERY IS THAT! So I hatched a plan... I'd use hamburgers_

_to lure the racers away from the Goombas and they'll drive right into a pond where they can drown MUHAHAHA. _

_Well that didn't work becuase they drove so fast they didn't even smell it, and a hammer bro tried to kill me_

_with a hammeh. Yes hammeh it's a word. Look it up fool. If you want proper grammah well too bad. _Then a hammer

bro stormed into his house saying... "USE GRAMMER YOU DUMBO-JUMBO, OH YOU MADE ME AND MY HAMMER

ANGRY, WHY I OUGHTA..." _To make a long story short... He tried to kill me with a hammer._ _ So I hatched another_

_spectacular plan. I'd switch the map of the next race making them confused and then a bunch of hamburgers rain_

_down on them and then the racers got vaporized by the hamburgers. Brilliant isn't it? Well that plan didn't work _

_either. Apparently hamburgers can't vaporize people. (They do it in HD movies only). Also the racers got out of _

_their karts and starting pelting us with hamburgers and we just said "You can't get us nah nah nah..." Then a UFO_

_came and vaporized us. Nobody but me survived. So I was a living target for everyone. I escaped with my super_

_powers that are awesome and and cool and UH OH. _All the racers and the hammer bro crashed through his house

and left it in rubble.

**That was a small last minute chapter. Sorry if it was short. As I always say... _"Majority Rules!" _**

**~Froggerz~ **


	4. Chapter 4

**He's back with more adventures... ITS TIME FOR...**

Diary of a Goomba: Mario Super Sluggers

June 18, 2012

_Dear Diary, _

_ Will I ever have a good Day? Why would I say that? Because Of Baseball. Of all the horrid games I had to play today, it had to be the one._

_I mean me being a Goomba i'm glad that i'm in the game but why don't I have special star powers like Mario, or Luigi, or Peach? I mean I get hit by their _

_powers b__ut I don't get any. So I came up with a plan... I'd make my own powers and use it in the game secretly. They won't even know what hit them. I can _

_see it now..._

* * *

**"Its the bottom of the ninth sports fans, and Mario just hits a home run. Leaving the score to...**

**Mario Fireballs: 9**

**Bowser Monsters: 12"**

**"The bases are loaded, 2 outs, and the Goomba steps up onto the plate." **

"There goes the game" Mario said the Luigi. "That guy can't even get the ball out of the triangle" said Luigi.

**"There goes the pitch..." **The Goomba swings but misses. **"Strike one!" "Strike two!'" **Then as the pitch nears the Goomba he uses his power...

Summoning Giant Hamburgers to carry the ball... The Goomba scores a home run. "**HE DID IT! THEY WON!" **The crowd roars and cheers "GOOMBA!"

"GOOMBA!" "GOOMBA!" "Pfhht, who cares he just a stupid Goomba" said Mario. Everybody glares at Mario and starts surronding him. "Meep" said Mario while

shaking.

* * *

_That's my theory so now i'm going to try it out..._ **1 hour later... **_Huff Huff, yah that didn't work. I caught a ball that was supposed to be a homerun. Then_

_an angry mob started chasing me for no reason. But I lost him. Anyway I showed off my amazing skills defeating everyone and UH OH. _Then a baseball

crashed through his window hitting the Goomba and knocking him out.

**You know its the end if he says UH OH. So I have to say that this is mean't for humor if you laugh but I didn't. Because it was short. I didn't**

**come up with my great ideas after submitting my last "Just Mario" chapter. Anywho until next time... _"Majority Rules!" _~Froggerz~**


	5. Chapter 5

**It has been a long time since I posted a chapter so i'm going to make one now.**

Diary of a Goomba: Maple Syrup

July 3, 2012

_Dear Diary, _

_ I've got to tell you something that is really, really bad. Its called... MAPLE SYRUP! It's supposed to be that famous stuff that you put on pancakes, waffles, and_

_egg rolls. But to tell you the truth, it's a nasty,icky,sticky,disgusting thing that's gets all over your clothes, your mouth and your dog. It all started one day when_

_Mario decided to work with Toad to make a eco-friendly syrup factory for Peach. I mean factories produce smoke that harms plants and animals and goombas._

_What's the point of saying eco-friendly when your're making the Mushroom Kingdom into real mush. But it turns out that's the factory runs on mushrooms. In fact_

_you only need 5 mushrooms to make it last for a year. That's rocket science to find out the square root for 8,394. Anyway then Mario made Peach breakfast in _

_bed. Ern, isn't rude to inturupt a princess's beauty sleep? Not to mention that Mario broke a hole in Peach's window just to get to there. Man I could totally dig _

_that. Anyway she got really mad and she threw Mario out the same window injuring his arm and he got cut and he was bleeding. Did I mention that's this _

_happened yesterday? Yep he's in the hosptial now getting a brief check-up. He also had to pay for the broken window and his health insurance. What am I _

_saying? This is about the syrup. I don't care about that stupid plumber. Well about the factory. Without Mario, the place went into chaos, and then the whole _

_factory blew up. The next thing I know is that one bottle of syrup lands by my door. So I used it on my hamburgers. It tasted digusting. But cheese works well_

_with it, and a side of a dozen donuts. In fact everything went well with the syrup except hamburgers. That hamburger should be ashamed of himself. Even _

_though it's 6 years old. SO SCREW MAPLE SYRUP, YOU'RE NOTHING BUT DISGUSTING, IDIOTIC, AND... Uh-oh... _Then a rumbling sound was heard. The

goomba looked outside and screamed in terror as his house was uprooted and carried away by a maple syrup wave. "CURSE YOU MAPLE SYRUP!" the

goomba yelled.

**Not that long I guess but... _"MAJORITY RULES!" ~Froggerz~_**


End file.
